Energetic Mojo

I've been feeling like I have more energy because I've been moving around more, getting the sleep I need, and eating food that is healthier for me. I still need to make sure I'm eating enough. There are times I don't feel like fixing anything or I just forget to eat. I'm working on that. I have a 'meals' category on my daily checklist in my bullet journal.
One thing about having more energy is that I'm up for getting more done. I like feeling more productive - although, I still have a long way to go. But, it's nice to feel like I'm able to check a few things off my list at the end of the day. Although, the way my brain works...I have to have small planning sessions throughout the day. The crazy thing is that if I don't I forget about the long 'to do' list.
Another thing that has come about because I have more energy is my ability to feel more comfortable around others. I can project more confidence. I've been able to participate more socially as well lately. That's been good. I've been able to do more things I enjoy, meet more people, and associate more often with those I already know. So, those are all good things.

Habit Update

I am keeping with the habits I have of regular exercise and sleeping habits. I'm currently working on nutrition. I'm doing better with that than I used to - just always room for improvement. I'm also thinking of ways to do more with movement/exercise and shifting my sleeping times. I'll be getting to bed earlier and getting up earlier.
I'm attempting to do more with whole grains, fresh produce, and a new thing to try...lentil pasta. It's fun to learn new things and try them out. I've also done more with nuts, seeds, and dried fruit. I decided that if I was going to grab something to eat that was quick - might as well make sure it was at least a little healthy.

Stigma

I weighed myself a couple of weeks ago. I'm under 200 pounds. I was happy to see the 199 on the scale. There was a time I would have never believed anyone that told me I would ever weight that much in my life. But, here I am. It sounds like such a big number. It sound more like guys who are trying to bulk up.
The real big deal about that has to do with the stigma that comes with being overweight in our society. I'm considered someone who doesn't know how to take care of themselves...someone that doesn't care about taking care of themselves. It seems most people think that if I cared I would do something about it and therefore be slender. What they don't see is someone who does have healthy habits and still manages to be overweight. I wish it weren't that way. But, it is. I guess as I lose more weight - I get to feel more like a productive member of society. I know. I can feel like I can manage to feel good about myself as I know I'm doing the best I can...at the same time...I have to accept the fact that those around me will still consider me lazy.

Sticking With It

I've actually lost some weight in the last little while. I've been focusing on healthy habits. That's my main thing...I just want to be healthy. I want to feel well. I want to have energy to accomplish what I need to do. I want to be able to have the freedom of movement. I want to live an active life. I want to live longer than I might (never know) if I weren't taking care of my body. I want to live without the complications of things like diabetes and heart issues.
Like I said...I have lost some weight. I've dropped sizes in my clothing. I'm currently hovering around 200 pounds. That's so hard to say out loud. One never thinks they're going to weight that much...especially considering the genes I have. I'd love to lose more. But, if I never do that will have to be okay. I feel healthier and I am able to do more. I have more energy and feel better about life in general. I think those things make the healthy habits worth it. I'm also telling myself that muscle weighs more than fat. I know that's true and I know I've not only been losing the fat...but, I can also tell that I have more muscle. So, I'm sticking with it.

In Between

I'm in between sizes. I've noticed especially with my swim suits...size 18 is too big and 16 is too small...just barely. It would be nice to have something that fits since I'm in the pool doing water aerobics three times a week. I'm hoping that it won't be too long until the 16 fits. I use both sizes - just not sure it's actually working.
I've noticed a difference with clothes as well. The sizes I used to get are a bit too big now. I even grabbed a pair of capris out of the D.I. bag before we took it over. Nice to have something 'new'. I'll need to start downsizing a little. There are times I'll still do the same size. It's just that I know it'll fit now. There will be other times that I'll do a size smaller than what I've been doing. The time that I felt most fit during my adult years was when I did a size 10 jeans and a medium size shirt. I don't think I'll get back to that again - but, I'm glad I'm getting closer. I feel stronger and have more energy. So, that's good.

Big Boned

It's been awhile. I just had something pop into my head. This happened a couple weeks ago. I was in water aerobics class and started a conversation with a gal that started coming to the class not too long ago. We were talking about the class, exercise, being overweight, and making efforts to be healthy. During the conversation she said something about how people just don't get that some people are just big boned. It hit me that she was including both she and I in that statement. I didn't tell her that I'm really not big boned. I might look like I am now. But, I'm really not. Somehow it seems worse. If I were big boned and someone referred to be that way...it wouldn't be a big deal. It just is what it is. The thing is...that's not what it is for me. I spent part of my growing up years thinking that I would be 'skinny' like my mom. We were both teased at school about the subject. That's not being big boned. That's gaining weight that shouldn't be there. So, instead of being slender and possibly at times feeling like I might not have enough of a 'figure', I now know that I have too much of a 'figure' and I'm the only one responsible for that. It doesn't help that my metabolism has slowed greatly as I've gotten older.

Dress Shopping

I was looking at this dress to purchase as a possible option for an event and to wear throughout the summer. I wear dresses and skirts all year long - and even more so during warmer months. I have been needing to get something that doesn't look quite so warn out to wear to church. It's just time.:} So, I was hoping it would work for the event - but, thought that even if I needed to figure something else out for that at least I would have this an a viable option to where this summer. I had made the decision to purchase. I selected my size and just like that 2/3 of my options were gone - including the dress that I was hoping to buy. I don't know why I didn't put the size in before. I've had this experience with previous purchases. It occurred to me...again...that if you're overweight...your options are limited. I don't know why the same things can't be made a little bigger in all of the styles - but, to all of the sudden go from over forty options to just fourteen (yes, I counted) options...it bothered me a little bit. The one I wanted was gone. As you can guess, the smaller the size, the more options there were available. I feel like this is something that happens pretty often. It can be in a store...it can be online...doesn't matter...there are fewer options for those of us who wear bigger sizes. It certainly doesn't help us look great when there are times we feel like we need to wear something we like but don't necessarily love...something that fits okay...but, not quite right...something that will pass for the occasion...but, not something we feel good in because it wasn't our first and favorite choice. It's a thing.

It's also a thing that now I have to start all over. I have other things to do with my time and emotional energy.

(I know the link above doesn't show the specific dress I was looking at...if you do go there...it's one called 'Blue A-15'.)